Comments on: Sew,Papa,Sew!: Thoughts on Fatherhood, Sewing + Gender Expectations

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 05:38:03 +0000

my son is almost 5 and has been helping me sew since he could walk. He is facinated by the pins. We are sewing his back pack for kindergarden. I just wish there were more patterns and fabric for boys. Boys are more satisfying to sew for because they will wear it. Girls are so fickle that often the things I make my daughter just collect dust.

By: Fawn

Fawn — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:34:18 +0000

I learned how to quilt from a man who used to be my gen chem professor in college. He and his wife own the local Quilt Works near my home and I love their store. I have vivid memories of the one break he took from lecturing on gen chem to talk about quilting. Being the notetaker that I am, I took extensive notes. I no longer have them, sadly, but I got rid of all my college paperwork about 3 yrs ago and that was back in 1998! I still enjoy chatting with him about projects, he has such an eye for color combinations and tips and tricks, love quilting around him. I’m no stranger to exceptions to the standard stereotypes so I think nothing of it; he’s a quilter 2nd (but only because he was my professor first!).

By: Terry Kessinger

Terry Kessinger — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:59:40 +0000

I remember my dad making curtains for our motor home and other things. It was never odd as we – me, my sister and brother, thought my dad could do anything! My mom sewed anything and everything as well.

It’s hard when people stereotype anyone for any reason. Me? I’m not a feminist, I’m an older woman (50s) who is just learning to quilt, rides a motorcycle, loves new adventures, and has only been married once. I’m not a stereotypical anything and love others who stir up the mix. Kudos and I hope to find you in a quilt store someday.

By: Jeff Rutherford

Jeff Rutherford — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:10:40 +0000

As a male quilter, I enjoyed your post a lot.

I’m one of two men in my local guild, but I”m also active online via QuiltGuy, and we’ve started organizing twice a year all-male quilting retreats in the Northeast.

And, just fyi, one of the favorite photos of my wife and I is a photo of my son sitting on my lap learning how to quilt.

By: kate C.

kate C. — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:51:59 +0000

Yes, good post. This is why feminism is so important in the world – as it advocates that men and women should be equals and not put into ‘boxes’ just based on gender. This applies to women in science and tech fields, and men in quilting/crafting fields, and many other examples!

We are all individuals!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:07:06 +0000

Thank you for the post. This is something I often think about. My husband sews on occasion, and my son is an avid sewer. My grandfather was a tailor. So, I am lucky to come from a family where men are also crafters. This notion of fabric choice is so fascinating. It is unfortunate that people try so hard to make little boxes to define what is and what isn’t appropriate for a person. I hope we can move past this as well.

By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 01:24:58 +0000

I am so grateful that you wrote this. I’m working very hard to teach my children NOT to buy into the gender stereotypes that are so common. My daughter does not like dresses or skirts… or anything with ruffles… or princesses. It would be fine if she did, but it’s also fine that she doesn’t. What bothers me is that so many others assume that, because she’s a girl, she likes those things. My son likes to sew, and can now use my sewing machine with a minimum amount of help. He loves sewing and has a very good eye for color. Right now, they are both proud of their abilities and confident in who they are. They are also 5 and 8 years old. What will happen as they get older, I wonder. I only hope their pride and confidence stays strong, and they are not too influenced by cultural gender “norms.” Oh, and I, too, love the Parson Grey fabrics. The muted, earthy colors are refreshing. And I’m a woman. Anyway, thank you, sincerely, for a wonderful article.

By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 23:31:38 +0000

I am a male quilter and sewer and know exactly what you are talking about. My first guild meeting years ago, I felt very similar to what you describe. After a while I felt very accepted and even missed when I didn’t attend. It became sort of a joke with some visiting teachers when they would say “ladies…and Bob” But for the most part I really was accepted and appreciated.
As far as shopping, it is the opposite of car shopping, when some salespeople would talk around my wife and address the answers to me, we both would deflect them to her. In Fabric shops, when I am with her, I have gotten used to the “you’re the quilter?!” I have to say that I do find it happens less and less.
I have taught both my son and duaghter to sew, and also my niece and nephew.
I think people need to be reminded that a hundrred years ago, a tailor was mainly a man’s job.
There aremany male quilters out there, even a yahoo group with hundreds of members.
Accept people for who they are and what they like to do.

Not that it is necessary to prove anything to other quitlers, but it is amazing when I get a suprised reaction that I have ribbons from the WI State fair and Quilt Shows for both quilting and for items I have sewed for my wife. People seem to think that is vindicaiton or something. I don’t usually mention it anymore, as I used to feel like I was then treated as some unusual, instead of a person just doing what I enjoy.
I think I have stopped entering shows just because I begant o feel like I was entering to prove myself. (By the way, I enjoy many artistic pursuits and working with tools and happen to be a professional musician and teacher.)

By: Catherine Eddleman

Catherine Eddleman — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:52:22 +0000

I loved reading this article. I come from a family of male crafters. My mother, her mother, and so on have not ONE single crafting little smidgen in them. It’s kind of funny and sad because there ARE so many stereotypes out there that do make it hard to be yourself regardless of gender. You like/love what you like/love. I really enjoyed reading the above comments on how some of the sons sew with thier parent, how wonderful is that! My dad didn’t teach me how to sew but he did teach me cross stitch, painting, macrame, and all other sorts of things. And my future husband and I make all our gifts for our family members. Last year we made aprons for everyone and I’ll tell you what…. he did a better job! =) I think someone mentioned above that it’s a machine, and that’s how my fiance looks at it too. It’s a means to a goal and how fun it is. Thank you for this great read, very mind opening.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:09:13 +0000

Out of all of my family, the people that comment on and are most interested in my projects are male. My dh, because he is so sweet, and my dad- because he learned how to knit, crochet, embroider, and sew when he was young. He actually taught my mom how to use a sewing machine! He is otherwise, your average guy. Tough, engineer, farmer. I just love that he has that side to him. My parents raised us girls in the same way- there wasn’t much that was off limits because of gender.